Today I am trying something I have failed at a million times before – I am trying to become what I see as the better person. I have a list of things I want to achieve that I think will make me happy. My definition of happy stems from social media, it is the same definition that countless other people on this planet have.
The happy version of me will be physically fit (therefore pretty), will have a man who loves her, will perform well at work, will always be cheerful towards friends and ultimately be someone who is seen as strong and independent.
So what am I now? Well I am a 93kg, 177cm Northern Irish girl living in central Glasgow. I enjoy working out but also enjoy eating a large dominos alone twice a week. I am under the impression that I can eat what I want, workout loads and still lose weight (definitely delusional). I work at a financial bank as a Technology Analyst and genuinely love my job, I would describe myself as a bit of a workaholic, it is a Saturday night and I want to go to work tomorrow. I have plenty of friends, but I am scared to let them get too close to me (that’s a whole other blog post). I tend to be passive aggressive and manipulative to get what I want, I know how to convince people to do something my way without them even realising it. I am also very moody, I try not to be but I am.
How do I intend to transform into this amazing person? I have a list.
- I need to fix the diet, I hate how I feel after the dominos but I also can’t seem to stop. Instead of changing anything major I am going to try something simple. I will take everything one day at a time, try to eat anything I want but in reasonable portions. If I last a week, I get to buy a new top and one takeaway meal.
- I am going to try learning Spanish using the duo lingo app. I have noticed a link between me being bored and wanting to start arguments. So I am hoping this will occupy me more.
- I want to cut down on watching TV shows, I watch way too many and I eat loads while watching them. I am hoping to replace that time with reading again.
- Cut down my phone usage. I use my phone way too much at the minute, I am very addicted to it. I will google an app I can download to alert me to that amount of usage.
So the question I am asking myself, what is different this time? What is stopping you getting the takeaway or binge watching netflix? My answer: TBC